I am a 30 year old(1) Scottish woman. I have bipolar I disorder(2) and bulima that merges into binge eating disorder(3). I’m fat and I’m trying like fuck to believe in fat acceptance. I am a gamer and play a lot of WoW where I am an officer in a casual raiding guild(4). I love rats and have two girls who I am devoted to(5). I like taking photos especially of my rats and the sea. I am an atheist. I’m a big fan of reading and particularly love science fiction, dark comedy, historical drama and a lot of non-fiction and even instruction manuals. I like listening to music and used to play a lot when I was younger but it is often too overwhelming these days(6). I try hard to be what some fuckwits(7) call politically correct but what I call polite. I spend a lot of time, in fact the majority of my time awake, trying to deal with my thoughts and feelings of which I seem to have an excess due to my mental illnesses and that is why I do not have a job. This is a personal blog and so I will post about any of these subjects and probably random other things too.
1. Fuck, I’m getting old. Still not done anything with my life and still shite at dealing with my mood.
2. I’ve always called it “manic depression” to myself so bollocks to translating it to “bipolar I disorder” for other people anymore.
3. Holy crap, recovered a fair bit from the eating disorder. Most behaviours gone though most of the thoughts remain. It kind of threatens to relapse sometimes. How many fucking posts did I do about weight and eating?! It’s even boring me. I’ve re-categorised them as ‘eating disorder’.
4. Left WoW and come back to it again since then. Also: left that guild, joined another more progressed one, that guild died so I went to another MMO, joined a new raiding guild, did a decent amount of progression, became an officer again, took on more responsibility, did more progression, got burnt out (in retrospect), left that MMO and came back to WoW, keep thinking about joining another guild but haven’t got the courage/motivation yet.
5. I miss them and still talk to them.
6. That’s improved and I’m now playing the guitar and singing along fairly regularly.
7. Name-calling. Not helping my point.