I feel isn’t strong enough and isn’t the right words. I AM bad, screwed up and squeezed into a nowhere space so that the pressure in me is so big. Much too big to see all of and too much to understand and hold in my self at once. There is no self. There is no <Bank Alt>. It doesn’t exist just this poor hijacked, beaten and bullied body that I (or something) feels so sorry for. Just a poor creature that needs a new, safe home. I wish I could give it away to someone who would take care of it.