Trying to email D

May 26, 2009

Thank you for your messges and texts. I’m sorry I haven’t replied. I’ve been trying to phone you for a few weeks. I hope it hasn’t annoyed you too much that I have answered the phone or phoned you back.

I am not doing very well. I have somehow forgotten how to make myself do things even if they are really important. I keep trying to do something and I don’t even start it. That sentence doesn’t make sense but I don’t know how else to put it and I don’t think I can make it make sense anyway. I’m still not really leaving the flat. Since I went Glasgow I have left the flat twice for about 10 minutes to go round the corner to the Co-op. I don’t know when that started. I don’t have a problem with outside I just can’t deal with other people at all. Of course, leaving it to the summer when it is day-light even more wasn’t very sensible as that makes it worse. I don’t think I can talk to people without crying which is why I am emailing rather than phoning.

[I didn’t finish this email and never sent it.]